I’m sure that everyone reading this has gone to church, at least once. You are either good church goin’ folk, your parents are, or their parents still are. Now this isn’t one of those preachy columns, pun intended, that tries to either explain or bash religion. I’m not that bright to even explain why religions are good/bad or have the financial power to back the onslaught of legal problems that the site would get into. This is of course assuming that more than 10 people read these things. A morethenman can dream…

What I’m going to explain is this wonderful video I found online. It’s about lent and how people are giving up things for this religious season. Here is the link: (LINK REMOVED. Wow. That’s the power of the internet. Less than 24 hours after I post this they take it down. BS-more: 1 - ABC NEWS: 0.)

I hope most of you will at least glimpse at it since it’s some pretty good unintentional funny. Well, not really unintentional since they are trying so damn hard and includes such gems as “Vatican in a Twitter”. The ABC News report introduces us to a family who is head over heels (“and I’m always gonna be”) for religion and is ever so proud that their daughter has “decided” to give up technology for lent. Well, alert the Christian fundamentalist because we found ourselves another Skywalker.  I’m still pretty sure that the parents forced her into this Lent activity, or guilted , which goes good with the whole Lent experience. Not to be outdone, her mother gave up chocolate.

The video “reports” that the girls grades have improved and so has the relationship with the family. Really? This was Facebook and a cell phone’s fault? Well actually it wasn’t since it only says that she gave up the text function on her cell phone, which means I’m sure she’s regularly having cell phone conversations and chatting on msn messenger, or AOL messenger, ICQ or whatever else. She’s still emailing and using those same distractions. The mom is so happy with her lovely Christian child. Now they are shown having wonderful conversations or playing card games and not running away to answer a text message or see pregnant pictures of classmates on the Facebook.

I really enjoy how the topic of “well the Vatican has a website” comes up as a counter-argument. Oh, that’s so wonderful. The Vatican has a website and perhaps the traffic is down for their hilarious youtube classic “man with big hat and white ropes says things like condoms won’t help the Aids crisis in Africa”. Those are always laugh a minute clips. That same brain trust has also brought us the wonderful idea that “Technology can lead to distraction and temptation”. This is an exact quote from the Vatican. I know they are just trying to help out people and this can be the case but are there not more important things to worry about? As Buddy Pope has already said, you have a website! You are part of the problem. You can’t have it both ways. It’s like saying to love your neighbour as yourselves, as long as they’re not gay or a women or being as silly as renouncing temptation and then not being able to control yourself at an Altar Boy tryout. Who would do that? Really? (Crap, I went there).

But maybe we should praise this girl. She stuck to her guns, put her mind to something and accomplished it, which is hopefully the message they were trying to achieve with this whole Lent experience. The old mind over matter trick works again; something that religions have banked on for years. So two claps for her! The video ends with a check in on the old mother figure. After all this praising of her daughter staying true to the Lent roots and sticking with something, she goes on to explain that she’s cheating on her chocolate sacrifice! Really?! Come on! Your kid can give up communication and you can’t put down a god damn candy-bar? Can you see why your kid wouldn’t want to spend time with you? You know she’s one of those mom’s who belittles her children about smoking weed and the dangers of drugs while she grows her own plants in the basement and smokes up on a daily basis. Wait, this makes complete sense. No wonder she can’t give up chocolate. (She was high/munchies/get it?)

And that’s a rant.

(3 votes, average: 5.00 out of 5)

 Loading ...